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motifake

Table Demotivational Poster


SAVE THE VEGETABLES -




IN CASE OF EMERGENCY - 1. Move Beer 2. Break Glass


TAGS: table beer emergency
Rating: 4.72/5

More motifakes by Thumper99

Nissta - August 27, 2012, 5:39 pm
NO drink the Beer and break the glass with the empty bottle


PLANNING AHEAD - Hey, let's cut the roof off our car so we can haul the motorcycle around when it's too wet to ride.




VAMPIRES -


TAGS: vampire blood period drink under table pzy
Rating: 4.63/5

More motifakes by pzykosiz

dragonrider33 - March 17, 2014, 9:26 pm
THIS, is my new favorite Desktop!!
Cyberhagen - November 16, 2013, 1:28 pm
WOW.. umm.. it's good to know there are people as sick and twisted -if not more- as/than me around..lol
MrDamage - March 9, 2013, 6:48 pm
EWWWWW! 5 lions :)
autumnspirit - February 2, 2011, 6:58 pm
Just added to faves!
autumnspirit - February 2, 2011, 6:57 pm
THAT IS TWISTED! I love it! 5 of course!
culos - February 2, 2011, 5:34 pm
*divorce*
culos - February 2, 2011, 5:33 pm
Can't afford the consequent dicorce, sorry... Otherwise I'd take you up on that without hesitation! Cheers!
agdaniele - February 2, 2011, 5:07 pm
Marry me, culos.
culos - February 2, 2011, 4:56 pm
I wish it was priceless, my ex costs me about $3000 a month in alimony. That's not priceless! That's a real bloods****** vampire foryou!
rerun - February 2, 2011, 4:36 pm

Priceless
Reality Lord - February 1, 2011, 10:56 pm

hey ice...the delay on the eyes for your avatar...creepy dude...like you're stalking someone.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - February 1, 2011, 10:16 pm
Really Ice?...Why can't you write one then?
ICEMAN - February 1, 2011, 9:46 pm
OBTW, in case you hadn't noticed, I love a good limerick.
ICEMAN - February 1, 2011, 9:39 pm
There once was a guy named "Psych"... He submitted one we might like... He hit a home run... When the Mods said "It's done"... Now he's giddy as a lil bitty tyke. 5
spacedog - February 1, 2011, 9:16 pm
LMAO! Amsome pzykosiz.
Reality Lord - February 1, 2011, 9:04 pm

OMG!!! n1 dude.


FURNITURE CONSPIRACY -


TAGS: cupboard cabinet wardrobe locker table
Rating: 4.61/5

More motifakes by forseti

Oiler - January 15, 2013, 7:16 pm
I know this was posted a while ago....but this is priceless. 5 stubby L


L. RON HUBBARD -


TAGS: i wonder if they were sliced on a clay table
Rating: 3.83/5

More motifakes by BoneCD

Treehodger - March 10, 2010, 1:12 am
---turn up leaves in a fire, close seeds in a drought, and even close flowers around animals. Or so I have been told. Never saw it happen, but that is what my Biologist claims. : /
Treehodger - March 10, 2010, 1:11 am
Fun Fact: When a plant is in danger of being killed by any means, it DOES send out low frequency vibrations. Most scientists believe this is a "Warning System" that evolved over millions of years, helping plants stay alive. Due to this, plants can---
BoneCD - November 30, 2009, 11:11 pm
mucho
MrRandom - November 30, 2009, 11:08 pm
*nods* Sir Bone. Always a great poster to bump up too,
BoneCD - November 30, 2009, 11:07 pm
evening youngsters
Arnaldo - September 28, 2009, 12:27 pm
smart 5/5
Doc - September 28, 2009, 7:20 am
Hmm. Even though tomatoes are fruits, this still holds true...
BoneCD - September 27, 2009, 4:34 pm
*LOUDER=LAUDER
BoneCD - September 27, 2009, 4:31 pm
WHAT?...YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK LAUDER
Sean - September 27, 2009, 3:59 pm
and their screams are deafening???
BoneCD - September 27, 2009, 3:56 pm
Thanks guys...I've been slicing tomatoes all week end long
CaloNord - September 27, 2009, 12:25 pm
ahah awesome - Iv caused more agony than I thought...
Derek - September 26, 2009, 7:44 pm
Very very good.
darkangel98s - September 26, 2009, 2:38 pm
This poster is now on my screen saver motivational poster list. Cool
Bartimaeus - September 26, 2009, 1:57 pm
I must report to Lord Xenu. He will not be pleased by this..."They've learned of the agricultural project X. Yes, they know that mankind evolved from tomatoes." 5/5
Cam - September 26, 2009, 1:41 pm
5 Tom Cruise eating lions.
great - September 26, 2009, 1:36 pm
5 5 5
spacedog - September 26, 2009, 12:49 pm
Carrot juice is murder. 5L.
Sean - September 26, 2009, 12:41 pm
*zinger
Sean - September 26, 2009, 12:41 pm
That's a zingy! 5.
KDP3 - September 26, 2009, 12:20 pm
5 monkeys/lions/poodles


PESSIMISM -




THE COOKIE MONSTER - Fruits and vegetables, what the hell have they done to him!!!


TAGS: fruits vegetables cookie monster
Rating: 4.59/5

More motifakes by MysteriousWoman5150

jackandsally - October 29, 2011, 1:49 am
LOVE IT


MINNESOTA CONVERTABLE - I just looove the feel of -33F wind blowing through my hair.


TAGS: minnesota convertable snow hair winter
Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by todd snyder

dragonrider33 - April 4, 2014, 10:49 pm
Awesome has now been revealed, All Kneel before the Master.
CANADA - February 17, 2010, 11:44 pm
I want an old Nash Metro now
redhdsrbst - February 16, 2010, 10:31 pm
If it sits long enough to freeze, your not doing it right ;)
CANADA - February 16, 2010, 4:10 pm
the problem is you gota keep you beer warmed up or it will feeeze :( hard stuff at the shack for cold days
MO - February 16, 2010, 4:07 pm
Add a kegerator and you can bring the bar with you! I hear Iceman can hook you up!
CANADA - February 16, 2010, 4:04 pm
cant forget the paddle tracks and lots of picks
MO - February 16, 2010, 4:03 pm
Oh, and a lift kit.
CANADA - February 16, 2010, 4:02 pm
I'd run a turbo sprint motor. gives you in cab heat and lots of power.d***! now i really want one
MO - February 16, 2010, 4:00 pm
You'd end up trying to install twin turbos. And a hurst shifter....
CANADA - February 16, 2010, 3:58 pm
my town is right on the lake, I could go strait from the shack to the bar with this baby!
CANADA - February 16, 2010, 3:57 pm
This would be sweet for ice fishing.
MO - February 16, 2010, 3:53 pm
A little slow for your taste eh Canada? Slowing down in your old age? XD
CANADA - February 16, 2010, 3:46 pm
SWEET! i want one!


MEANWHILE - In the Congressional vegetable garden




MR M -




PLEASE JOIN ME - This is a delightful table, we'll have some wine and... OH MY GOD, WE'RE IN A HUGE SKULL!!


TAGS: skull optical illusion doris wine table funny
Rating: 2.86/5

More motifakes by Motifake Wit Liberation F

wolfie - April 20, 2009, 6:02 pm
now there's an interesting a***ogy on love
Khatmonsuk - February 14, 2009, 4:47 am
Hahahahaha x).


Vegan Joke #10 -




CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS CAREFULLY... - It is highly unlikely that you'll ever be held accountable for the actions of your enemies.




PEOPLE WITH GLASS TABLES - SHOULD NOT THROW TANTRUMS




Vegan Joke #3 -


TAGS: vegan joke vegetable coma
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

steve1961 - April 16, 2014, 10:05 pm
Good...more bacon for me.
motifayk - April 16, 2014, 7:28 am
Unfortunately I do not think it is fad. More and more people are becoming Vegan.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 2, 2014, 10:32 am
This whole vegan fad will soon disappear - alas, not soon enough. And honestly, no doubt you agree, that's what this is - a fad. I'm curious, not so much WHEN, but HOW it'll go down. Bwahahaha!
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 2, 2014, 10:25 am
Moo ha ha.
MissPriss - April 2, 2014, 2:32 am
Thanks crotchety...I know a few vegans and these are being emailed out to them. Gawd they hate me sometimes...teehee


TOC - Education Is Important I Got You A Periodic Table For Your B-Day


TAGS: toc periodic table
Rating: 4.62/5

More motifakes by rerun

thatonechick - June 12, 2010, 8:44 am
Sweet! Where can I pick that up?!? I really want that.


The Ubiquitous I-Pad -


TAGS: i pad tablet
Rating: 4.5/5

More motifakes by demon001

Oldsod - February 27, 2014, 9:18 pm
Ah...that reminds me of my school days...


TIME TO GET A REAL LIFE - Timmy


TAGS: timmy s girlfriend is inflatable
Rating: 3.8/5

More motifakes by MustyK

MustyK - March 9, 2010, 3:34 pm
Lift your game Mo.
MO - March 8, 2010, 8:04 am
Pot .. Calling .. Kettel Black. Just a few words that come to mind.


A CHRISTMAS RIDDLE - What does a huge inflatable Santa, the Hulk, a skeletal Homer and Elmo have in common?


TAGS: christmas riddle inflatable santa hulk homer elmo
Rating: 2.92/5

More motifakes by Jarhead

xxCrimsonVoidxx - December 11, 2009, 5:17 pm
The hulk is about to jump down and wreck them all?
LogicDude - December 4, 2009, 12:20 pm
They were all on the Guest List at the last State Dinner, but didn't get in?
GreyScorpion - December 4, 2009, 12:02 pm
they're all in my neighbors front yard? 5 Clark Griswolds


TABLE MANNERS - T-Rex has none.




do you hear banjos? -


TAGS: greybeard innovation party table
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Airman

MissPriss - March 30, 2014, 7:55 pm
Guy out here has one but on wheels and drives it around town. Umbrella and cold beer sitting on a moving picnic table...life is good.
MrStupidGir - March 25, 2014, 6:02 pm
I'm totally building one of these this summer, hope the coast guards are cool with it


vegetables -


TAGS: bug eattin vegetables
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Krickit

Silverheart - November 12, 2015, 10:15 pm

NEENER NEENER


MONSTERS IN THE CLOSET - Have nothing on fresh vegetables when it comes to a kid.




FINE DINING THE RL WAY -


TAGS: usual table dining out rl
Rating: 4.84/5

More motifakes by Airman

Airman - April 14, 2011, 12:12 pm
sounds delicious RL
NotoriousGIL - April 14, 2011, 2:55 am
LOL
Reality Lord - April 13, 2011, 11:21 pm

i rarely go out airman. i usually use the star trek cookbook. all the recipes are for one....lol.
tellitlikeitis - April 13, 2011, 11:21 pm
"Winning"!
Greeny - April 13, 2011, 8:23 pm
It's like a time-out booth!


APPLE TABLET - Not what everybody expected




FINANCIAL PROBLEMS - It Seems That, When They Strike, They Hit The Public Services Section Of Government First And Hardest




HORROR - No bacon! Not even meat Just vegetables


TAGS: rnr bacon meat vegetables burgers cheese
Rating: 2.91/5

More motifakes by RnR

Nabs - July 28, 2009, 8:55 pm
Either way, I'd go to TOWN on that salad!
Porcelina - October 19, 2008, 4:19 pm
It does look good.. minus the cheese. Can't do dairy
SGT P - October 19, 2008, 4:16 pm
Looks yummy to me. Though some chicken would be nice...
RnR - September 26, 2008, 3:40 am
it's Feta cheese i think... still horrible
Motifake Wit Liberation Front - September 26, 2008, 2:35 am
No, that's cheese, you can tell because it has way more texture on the surface than tofu could have. I like tofu. Honest, I'm not even saying that because of this brainsquid attached to my head.
aPauling - September 25, 2008, 5:00 pm
I don;t even think that's cheese! That's tofu! Holy ****! Eating this instead of food is like cuddling instead of having ***!


Genetic Enginering -




HUCKLEBERRY HOUND -


TAGS: unpredictable fabulous lion
Rating: 4.41/5

More motifakes by spacedog

ICEMAN - April 12, 2011, 11:19 pm
Thou dost speaketh the truth x 5.


NO MATTER WHAT -




TABLE MANNERS - They are a damn side better than yours!




TOUGH GUYS -


TAGS: helmet tough vegetable juice faceplant
Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by Faceplant31

jameswnash - August 26, 2010, 7:55 pm
Gonna feel that one in the morning


SCIENCE FICTION - For our red neck brothers science fiction is now FACT! Take that Asimov!


TAGS: science fiction how s that portable toilet
Rating: 3.5/5

More motifakes by Chef

Haarakkon - July 7, 2010, 7:03 pm
Don't be overthinkin' it, my kiwi friend.
GreyScorpion - July 7, 2010, 6:38 pm
I thouhgt it was, "do you think anybody will buy it?"
Chef - July 7, 2010, 6:34 pm
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
Derek - July 7, 2010, 6:15 pm
I've read quite a bit of Asimov years ago, but... can you enlighten us as to how the picture relates Chef?


Get Along Little Doggy -


TAGS: stable calendar motifake world window
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Greeny

thecrotchetyoldcynic - November 19, 2013, 12:03 pm
Not true! I have. . . . no, wait. No I don't. I don't :-(
Mooooooooooooooooooo - November 19, 2013, 8:14 am
It doesn't work Greeny, Most of these guys don't have windows in their mothers basements...5L


IMPATIENT CATBÄR -




THE GRAMMA-PHONE -




NARCISSISM -




Retirement -


TAGS: money savings comfortable living
Rating: 4.9/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

MissPriss - August 20, 2015, 1:58 am
Eerie that you noticed it on a Tuesday...glad you made it through the day 'sod. Thanks hun!
Oldsod - August 18, 2015, 7:17 am
I...I don't know how I missed this, but 5'd and Faved!


REMEMBERING VEGGIE -




VEGETABLE DEVIANTS - Making the Angel-hair Pasta more and more nervous.




I was a tablet -


TAGS: etch a sketch hipster tablet and the charge lasts forever
Rating: 4.39/5

More motifakes by Silverheart

Silverheart - April 26, 2013, 2:48 am

There's an app for that.
MissPriss - April 25, 2013, 7:13 pm
And I can do with a tablet about as good as I did with an Etch-A-Sketch 'cept you can't shake a tablet to clear the screen...trust me!


NO MATTER HOW BAD IT GETS - I am not going to eat vegetables, unless they are the kind that come in a hospital bed .




LOVE -




A PRIVATE GLIMPSE OF AIRMAN - Rare image of Airman's living room with designer coffee table.


TAGS: airplane coffee table
Rating: 4.06/5

More motifakes by ughomer

Airman - March 26, 2012, 2:29 pm
nice one. You should see my new recliner.. goes perfectly with the tables. Thx
GaryO - March 24, 2012, 11:30 am
Nicely done, ug!
mariand - March 24, 2012, 10:41 am
look... there's Airman, after has been catched on motifake by his wife...hehehe


MUPPET SQUASH - Brought To You By the Letter "M"




PEACE AND TOLERANCE -


TAGS: peace tolerance irresistableurge
Rating: 3.92/5

More motifakes by sickartist

hangmanheadphones - October 6, 2010, 2:38 am
Amen.


MEMORABLE QUOTE -




MANOLO BLAHNIKS - Not as comfortable as you'd think




SHARK HAMMOCK - Latest Arab craze, nail beds are so last century. No wonder they are so pissed off all the time




AXE BODY SPRAY -


TAGS: axe irresistable ogre magnet
Rating: 2.27/5

More motifakes by sickartist

sickartist - December 9, 2009, 2:29 pm
Looks like he got his date, her sister, the chaperone and a transvestite.
Me_ - December 9, 2009, 2:25 pm
Where is the h**ness? Is that a guy in a silver dress?
agdaniele - December 8, 2009, 8:48 pm
LOL!
CANADA - December 8, 2009, 8:46 pm
He could probably do better without it
agdaniele - December 8, 2009, 8:44 pm
Thinking out loud.
DreMagnum - December 8, 2009, 8:27 pm
What the f*** aggy?
agdaniele - December 8, 2009, 8:25 pm
Yaks.
agdaniele - December 8, 2009, 8:25 pm
Yaks?
agdaniele - December 8, 2009, 8:25 pm
Yacks body spray?


neglected -


TAGS: please forgettable silence
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by LiquidAngel

mizzdizz - January 14, 2015, 4:21 pm
In silence, the suffering must be done, Until the need for loneliness is done, And with bravery and persistence, the battle is won, and you emerge into the sun, To face a brand new day! My poetry sucks. Consider it a tribute to your ability to inspire! 5L
kirill - January 13, 2015, 12:01 pm
5


A Silly PLace -


TAGS: motifakers ughomer silverheart motinet rerun spacedog cannabal realitylord tribute monty python parody camelot silly place kights round table king arthur and thanks misspriss for telling me how to post a ****load of tags to my posters ok thats it
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

Cannabal - April 15, 2017, 12:15 am
Oh yeah, somewhat true story-- kinda/sorta got thrown in jail.
Cannabal - April 15, 2017, 12:13 am
As the song goes: YOU CAN'T SNUFF THE ROOSTER.
concern3 - August 31, 2016, 3:45 am
Sometimes it's a scary place, I prefer silly. UP yours
JesusWept - August 30, 2016, 8:27 pm
Cannabal is Sir Robin. Haven't seen him for a while so i guess he bravely chickened out XD
Silverheart - August 30, 2016, 8:21 pm

Sir Bedevere? At least I'm not Sir Robin! Hey, ughomer! Not sure if he's as pure as Sir Galahad.
mizzdizz - August 30, 2016, 6:46 pm
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ^!


Apple -


TAGS: apple gates tablets technology electronics
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Pushkin

mizzdizz - June 1, 2016, 6:52 am
Thanks, Push---I couldn't resist!
Pushkin - June 1, 2016, 12:01 am
Good one, Mizzdizz.
mizzdizz - May 28, 2016, 7:48 am
Limited edition. There was only two. chuckle, chuckle. ^!


Vegan -


TAGS: vegan murder innocent fruit vegetables tattoo mugsh**
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 3, 2016, 1:24 am
He probably would get less beat up if he had a swastika branded into his forehead. :-D
JesusWept - April 2, 2016, 12:12 pm
Yes :)
mizzdizz - April 2, 2016, 11:53 am
ROTFL! This is a mug sh**, right? ^!!!!!


Pain -


TAGS: childbirth pain indisputable insurmountable
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Greeny

ughomer - October 24, 2014, 9:06 am
Bill Cosby, on an early LP, described it as "taking your lower lip and stretching it over the top of your head!"
spacedog - October 23, 2014, 6:02 pm
Holy crap Greeny
mariand - October 23, 2014, 3:18 am
Good a***ogies...worth remember
GaryO - October 22, 2014, 11:53 pm
oh Geezus. Somewhere beyond raucous laughter. As good as the old howdy doody man . I’ll read this again in the morning…in my favs (I’m eating)
Thedge - October 22, 2014, 11:12 pm
Inner infection, nurse heard the wife going on about an earache being nothing compared to birthing. Nurse asked her to either hush or leave the room, saying, "I've given birth. Have experienced an ear infection. The ear was MUCH worse."


Drugstore Shopping #3 -




right on track -


TAGS: just when you re comfortable splat
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by mizzdizz

mizzdizz - August 8, 2016, 5:57 pm
Thanks, JW!
JesusWept - August 8, 2016, 9:58 am
LOL good one. ^^^^^Up
mizzdizz - August 8, 2016, 7:48 am
Thanks, Rerun! Had the saying in the files for quite some time. Finally found the perfect pic! The guy's just a little TOO comfortable!
rerun - August 7, 2016, 7:35 pm

Very nice


Advancements -


TAGS: tablets p*** advancements kung fu
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Kung-Fu Devil

mizzdizz - December 29, 2014, 11:51 am
Fu-Devil, I just choked on my coffee! That's baaaaaaad! I LUV puns! 5 howling lions!


Used To -


TAGS: obese back view uncomfortable
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

MissPriss - November 10, 2014, 1:30 pm
You and Mr. Gary working in cahoots...stop making me laugh so hard!
Thedge - November 10, 2014, 5:01 am
Imagine, deep in a peaceful slumber... that rolls over next to you and one of those massive slabs flops across your face... an Edgar Allen Poe dream immediately begins running footage in your mind's eye, as you suffocate... evermore, evermore...
MissPriss - November 8, 2014, 9:15 pm
Yeah but that design is only fun 'til someone loses an eye...too late!
Thedge - November 8, 2014, 8:10 pm
hmm.. azzet?
Thedge - November 8, 2014, 8:08 pm
Always thought such a design would be a very huggable a**et, without the gross tonnage, of course. 5 blinks.
MissPriss - November 8, 2014, 5:07 pm
Dammit Mr. Gary...stop makin' me hack up a lung(if my imagination is filling in the right blanks in your comment)I only have a few scarce parts left!
GaryO - November 8, 2014, 5:03 pm
Huh…I seem to have formed some sorta reverse bon**


If a group of ravens is referred to as a conspiracy, -


TAGS: ravens also constable get it
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by mizzdizz

mizzdizz - March 8, 2016, 3:16 pm
Be advised, that poster has already been done.
mizzdizz - March 8, 2016, 2:49 pm
These are ravens, NOT crows. Entirely different birds.
EmilioDumphque - March 8, 2016, 2:20 pm
A Murder of Crows: Attempted murder. (sorry)


Killer Tomatoes -




Torn Between Two Lovers -




Warning Rumor -


TAGS: carved pumpkin warning other vegetables
Rating: 4.75/5

More motifakes by Ism

Thedge - October 29, 2014, 11:38 am
Odd factoid: There is a long standing argument as to whether a pumpkin is a fruit or veg. thepumpkinfarm states it to actually be a berry (family - Cucurbitaceae). Ah well, who cares? Make some nice decorations and a decent pie. 5l


Complete Physical -




Spontaneity -


TAGS: wild unstable spontaneous fun crazy
Rating: 4.5/5

More motifakes by Pushkin

Pushkin - February 10, 2016, 10:32 am
Thanks. It does. But you know I'm also spontaneous just like the poster. But I prefer to think of myself as unpredictable.
mizzdizz - February 10, 2016, 7:07 am
It also makes a great excuse! 5L Push!


Have A Heart -




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